1. Keep your head down and keep walking.
2. Hold your head higher and keep walking.
3. Flip him off.
4. Be like, “Wow, yeah, let’s get married.”
5. Stop and glare at him intensely until he looks away.
6. Take a voodoo doll out of your pocket. Stick a pin through its heart.
7. Hand him this form.
8. Turn up the volume on your iPod and gallop away Gangnam style.
9. Start muttering gibberish.
10. Say, “Why thank you, sir, I do have a great ass.”
11. Growl like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
13. Start reciting Mel Gibson’s freedom speech from “Braveheart.”
14. Roll your eyes dramatically.
15. Take a steak out of your purse and say, “No, THIS is a piece of meat.”
16. Ask him for his thoughts on string theory.
17. Write “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” on a piece of paper, fold it into a paper airplane, and throw it at him.
18. Fart. Loudly.
19. Be all, “Really? REALLY?!” Amy Poehler-style.
20. Ask for his address. Send him a postcard that says “I’m not here to decorate your fucking world.”
21. Curtsey.
22. Pretend you didn’t hear him.
23. Quietly hum the tune to “No Scrubs.”
24. Catcall him back.
25. Whisper, “Be careful what you say … to ninjas!” Throw down a smoke bomb. Disappear.
ADDITIONAL : One tactic that I always wanted to use: Say, (in a schocked tone) "Oh my gosh, you can actually see me?"
This is hilarious. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome! Now I have a purpose for my purse-steak.
ReplyDelete