The above link I have posted is entitled, “What it’s like
Dating as a Femme Lesbian.” It discusses the implications about lesbians that
have more feminine qualities. Definitely check out the link before you read my
comments, and I would love to hear about some of your opinions on how to fix
these obvious issues in our society.
This Buzzfeed article reminded me of a topic I discussed in
one of my past courses, Stereotyping and Bias in the Media. Groups that are
oppressed or categorized as the “other” have so many different stereotypes
about them. As this article described, a woman that identifies herself as a
lesbian apparently HAS to be butch, a gay man has to be over the top, and even
a feminist has to fulfill certain criteria! So why is it that when these
oppressed and “other” groups stand up against the stereotypes, the majority get
up and arms and pissed off at those defying the stereotypes? Like this article showed,
if a woman has feminine qualities, there apparently is no way she can be a lesbian…obviously
there is an issue with these assumptions.
Another example that comes to mind is the television show “Will
and Grace.” As explained earlier, the assumption is that gay men must be over
the top and flamboyant. Will in the TV series “Will and Grace” completely
defies these stereotypes as a gay man that was not overly flamboyant or loud or
obnoxious or any other stereotype against the LGBT community! The public’s
reaction? They were angry that Will did not depict “a real gay man.”
What constitutes a real gay man from a fake gay man? What
makes a man a real white man or a fake white man? What makes a real feminist or
a fake feminist? I believe people think that individuals are either black or
white when it comes to their personality.
So where is the line drawn? Why does society have these unrealistic
expectations about how a gay man or a black woman should act? And what can we
do to eliminate these stereotypes? When people follow the stereotypes, it seems
normal, but when individuals defy their stereotypes, the majority groups see it
as being strange. I would love to hear how some feminist activists feel about
this!
Kristin I looked at this Buzzfeed last night actually and it really resonated with me. I guess I am a 'femme lesbian' who has constantly been told by the LGBT community (especially in bars) that I cannot possibly be one of them because I'm too much of a girl. I would be so wealthy right now if I had a dollar for every times someone told me I'm just experimenting, or that I just haven't been fucked by the right man yet which is why I lean towards vaginas. Anyways back to the main topic of my post. I think that we do have a huge problem right now with categorizing humans. Obviously this goes straight back to our patriarchal classical conditioning of: everyone must be put into a tiny box so that we can organize and see who comes on top. Black and white thinking comes into play with the 'patriarchal tiny box' idea. Either someone is gay or not, someone is white or not, someone is straight or not ... the list continues. The article we read by Collins for class helped me understand that we need to breakdown the race,class,and sex ideas that keep us locked in. Feminist theory should help us do that, but then again there are caste systems within the feminist system! How do we win? I think the first step if allowing oneself to be themselves. I know this sounds so clique, but it works for me and many of my friends. Hateful things can be said, but I know that I have people supporting me in how I want to be. For instance talking about what makes a man or a woman ... one of my best friends in trans and he now just puts it in the majorities face. He is supported not only by a large group of people, but also by his local government in KS who 'gave' him equal rights (giving rights is a whole other tangent I could get into btw). Not only do we have to start at the education level and explain that everything in life is in flux, but we need to be more proactive and allow people to see the differences in everyone. Sometimes I feel that people shield their differences away because they are so scared of confrontation. Yet, the more the shields go down the easier the confrontation will be. These are just my ideas though ... please tell me if you disagree.
ReplyDeleteI definitely understand the frustration behind this. I hateeeeee when people say they're inner black woman is going to come out or expect me to act a certain way based off some character that they saw on tv.
ReplyDeleteI feel likes stereotypes about "othered" people are use for control and oppression and it think its still a major issue that "othered" people are still trying to figure out how to successfully combat.